The Mok Spot

I'm a friend. And a damn good one at that I would like to think. I'm not one of those people that has this entire circle of friends and pals and whatnot. I have a few people that are close to me. If you even want to call it close. I try not to toss around the word friend to mean just anybody. When I'm your friend, I'm your friend. Point blank. I will always be there for you. You hurt? I hurt. You're happy? I'm happy. And really, you're happiness is the ultimate goal for me as your friend. I hate it when my friends are unhappy. It makes me want to take sledgehammers to the heads of the people that hurt them. I will be honest with you. Not to hurt you. But to protect you from being hurt by somebody or something else. Trust me. I guess that's why betrayal from a friend is probably tops my lists as a horrific incident.

I'm a daughter. Probably not as good of one as I really could be, but nobody is perfect. I was, however, never a problem. If either of my parents had a sleepless night over me, then it wasn't my doing. They were just being extra parental. Proving my love to my mom has been an ongoing battle since I was younger. Some days it doesn't seem worth it because she thinks what she wants too and I don't see the point in trying for something that won't happen. Other days its all I think about and all I want out of this life.

I'm a student. I'm in the second semester of my sophomore year. I'm going to major in English, but no, I don't want to become a teacher. I really just want to go to law school, but you have to have a degree first, so here I am. I'm terribly unmotivated though and procrastination is my middle name.

I was a mocker. I actually hate that term. It popped up in college mock trial. In high school I was a mock trialer. Besides, basketball, it is one of the few things I have any real passion for. Most of my screen names and whatnot are moktral. Get it now? Ha. I was obsessed in high school. But all that hard work paid off. I've got a championship ring for winning in 2007. I miss it. A lot. I was good at it. Really good. I miss that. I miss the hard work. The adrenaline. I know it isn't the same in college and that's why I stopped, but I think next fall I'm going to go back to it. It's hard when something is your life for virtually four years and then you just walk away.

I'm a stoic. No, I don't mean statue like, I do show and have some feelings, but on the whole I just don't show them. If I knew why I would have the answer to all my problems. I will watch stand up comedy and try not to laugh just to see if the content is actually funny. I kid you not. At the same time, I'm rarely serious in real life. Maybe the people I surround myself with are mad uptight, but they take things seriously enough for me and about 9 other people. So I stay chill.

I'm a dork. I don't like the terms nerd and geek because they sound like people who are into math and science. Not me. While I'm not the biggest fan of school, I do love learning. I like learning new concepts and ideas and especially words. I like sharing what I know. Debates and discussions are like intellectual O's for me. When I have the time/patience for them, I like logic puzzles. I was all over Suduko when it first game out. I watch Forensic Files. I look up random facts. I love quotes.

I'm a drinker. No, I don't mean that like I'm some kind of alcoholic. But I do like to drink. I mainly use it as a social aid. I like going out with my friends and having a good time. And nothing beats me tipsy. "Hi, you're attractive. What's your name?"

I'm a Duke Blue Devil. That's right. Duke University Class of 2011. But I know that even when I get my diploma, Duke will still be a place that I call home. That gothic wonderland is mine. Going up Chapel drive will forever be one of the most picturesque scenes and Cameron Indoor Stadium will forever be my favorite place in this world.

I'm a writer. I don't think I'm a very good one. It's hard to get my thoughts out because they're always so jumbled. Most of the time, I can't even sort them out.

I'm a Christian. Shocking? Yeah, well, shut up. After being on Xanga and reading stuff like what's on Revelife has really made me think about my Christianity and spirituality. It seems I have my own brand of Christianity, and that's cool. Well are traverse this life in different ways. I think that being a Christian is an extremely personal relationship. Excuse me if I don't have WWJD tattooed on my wrist or a fish bumpersticker on my car. I know where I'm going when I die. That's what's important to me.

I'm a romantic. No, not a hopeless one or one who believes in a dashing knight to come riding in on a white horse to save me. Nothing like that. But I ardently believe in true love. And not just as some media ploy to make movies so people can go on dates. I think its real. That there exists in this world a person who truly makes your life better. Who is perfect in your eyes because of their imperfections, not the lack of them.

I'm a music-lover. Very few moments go by when there isn't a song in my head. I can start up singing at any moment. Music is my life line. I can find any song to fit my mood or current situation.

I'm a comedian. By some miracle, I make people laugh. It starts of with me not intending too, but then the person laughs and I feel good for making them feel good. But then I find myself trying and that weirds me out, so I stop. Ha. If I had the time and the talent to sit down and write jokes/monologues and things like that. I would totally do it. Being a stand up comedian would definitely be an ideal job.

I'm a Cameron Crazie. Face paint? Yes. Screaming? Yes. Jumping up and Down? Yes. Heckling? Yes. Ha. Being one is like a full time job. But I love it. If you ever catch a Duke home game, look for me. I should be in the front row having a damn good time.

I'm a Mac. lol. Yeah. I love my Macbook. It rocks. Hard.

I'm a poet. Well, I haven't written anything in a couple of weeks and before that poem it had been even longer. I was looking at some things that I had posted online and not all of it was bad. And regardless, it helped me get through/over things and people.