The Mok Spot

Since I'm always talking shit about how I'll write a book. I need to get some of these theories out there.

If a guy seems to good to be true, then first of all he is. But if he is all that then his fatal flaw is either one of two things: He has a small dick or he is a wife beater.

One of the fundamental differences between men and woman is that men are stupid. This stupidness is created in their penis. The bigger the penis, the more stupid you can expect hi...

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For the record, I have these instances when I think really fucked up things. Like today at breakfast, my mom gave our waitress $5. In my head I thought, "Yeah, use that to buy yourself some English lessons." Fucked, right?

Anyway, we're driving home from my grandmother's house later and on the opposite side a car has flipped over. My mom's comment is that the car had to have been going very fast so my thought was: "then they deserved it."

Did they?

We...

Your subtleties

They strangle me

I can't explain myself at all

And all the wants

and all the needs

All I don't want to need at all.

I want to do it. I can't think of anything more that I want. It is like desperately grabbing at straws. Hanging on by a fucking thread. I know I should just let go. I know I shouldn't d...

I'm in love with Dwight Howard. It is undeniable. He is beyond fantastic. Fact.

But the Magic are currently getting their asses handed to them in the Finals. Fucking Lakers.

Leah and I were bitching about Kobe saying that he was selfish in wanting another championship because he already has three.

But I was thinking about it and it is deeper than just wanting another. He needs one more to be validated. It goes beyond just some kind of want.

Yesterday I randomly watched some special on I think it was the Discovery Channel about the amazing human body and pushing it to the limit. It talked about this guy who was swimming across the English Channel. It went through everything his body was going through.

Apparently we only have about 2 to 3 hours of energy and our body copes by either enlarging or shrinking fat cells. But after that 3 hours is up, your body has to make a change over. But before it changes over, you...

I was idling thinking about Scot and how I keep word vomiting all over him. He's a fucking stranger! What am I thinking? He completely disagrees with me emailing Josh. Disagrees to the point that I was frustrating him last night. Not something I intended to do. So I was wondering a few moments ago who I trusted. Did I trust my relationship with Josh and that whole thing or a few (quasi) casual conversations with Scot in less than a week.

You know who I decided I trusted?

Andrew makes everything heavy.

Everything. And the situation is always the same. I trot along then he's there and bam. HEAVY.

But he has this clarity. This ablity to see right through me and helping me see myself. The years have run together. It's been three or four, but he's been there. More or less. Better or worse, but there.

That, to me, is a startling revelation.

On a slightly unrelated note, I'm emailing Josh. On his birthday. ...

My breathing is regular. My heart is still beating. I am no worse for the wear.

I feel. Fuck. I don't know what I feel. Do I even feel anything?

I gave him my number. My number! What the hell was I thinking?

We had this whole in depth conversation in the middle of main.

He cares? Why?

Why was he looking for me?

My chest feels a bit tighter, but I'm ok.

What does that mean? Why now?

Do I tell him a...